Helping Adults Learn Manners

Parents and other adults typically teach good manners to their children. This is done by example and reinforcing them with direction and praise to children. However, some parents neglect this responsibility. How can you help another adult learn social graces? Good manners are essential in social situations, professional settings, and interacting with people. Adults are perfectly capable of learning these manners; however, some of them will be resistant to instruction and guidance. Following are a few helpful hints will that can be used in a subtle and non-offensive way.

Be sure to practice proper etiquette at all times. Find a subtle way to emphasis good manners when you are in the presence of someone who lacks manners. Eventually, they will follow.

Teach and talk about good manners to your children while you are with an adult lacking manners. Be careful not to embarrass your child. Do it in a teaching fun way rather than in a correctional manner. This will enable you to offer specific instruction without actually directing it toward the offending individual.

Act as an interpreter. If you witness the adult being rude to another person or persons, take him or her aside and explain how that may have come across to other people. For example: "I'm sure you didn't mean it this way, but it sounded like you were ordering her to get you a cup of coffee. A 'please' probably would have softened the request."

Interject good manners on their behalf. For example, say "excuse us" if the unmannerly person bumps into someone. Or if he or she fails to thank someone, say "thank you," yourself. This is not as subtle as some methods, but may make a bigger impact.

A good way to help someone think about manners is by seeking their input on etiquette. Ask for their advice regarding manners in a particular social situation. Steer the conversation, if necessary, to arrive at the most mannerly solution.